A weekend can seem to change anything and everything. One little coincidence can change the whole world. By chance, that day, he walked down the same stairs as me. I haven’t seen him on those stairs since then. But if he hadn’t said hello, I wouldn’t have started liking him. I wouldn’t be SO close to something amazing. I’m only inches away. I can just feel it. I didn’t think I would ever want him like I do. I never knew he’d be crossing my mind almost every second. But it scares me now. I was so hesitant before. Afraid of letting HIM down. But now I’m afraid of being let down. He can’t like me that much. This must just be nothing. Tomorrow everything will be like normal and I’ll fall back into my mind somewhere like always. I overanalyze, over think, labeled as a dreamer. Like Cassius from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, my thoughts and silence categorize me as dangerous. And I do believe it. Causing more danger to myself than to others. How many opportunities have I missed because I’ve picked it apart and found all the negatives. I used to tell myself ‘’let it slide” or ‘’just go with with it” but I just can’t seem to. This is the first time I’ve just gone along with what’s happening. I’m not just jumping right in. But that’s what I’m so used to. Getting over the coldness of the water by jumping right in. What’s with this testing? Why should I test the water with my toes and ease my way in? Doesn’t it just make the process more dreadful? Knowing that every inch of your body that you let sink, it just gets colder and colder. It hardly ends there. You can only become warm by moving around. A standstill just makes you shiver. So it could be seen as a beautiful thing. A dance that makes the warmth keep growing. It’s all so new to me. Reborn into a world of SLOW love. In no way less powerful and in no way less important. But in all ways better. In ALL ways....real.
